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by Angela Wills
(Wild & Wonderful, WV)
I find myself scared of what each day has in store.
While keeping this MonSter from always taking more.
I have so many questions, yet never enough words.
I feel so many feelings and none of them preferred.
Will today be the day I can no longer walk?
Or will it be the day I won't cry when I talk?
Will today be the day I am no longer me?
Or will it be the day that I am finally set free?
Will today be the day, my body is no longer mine?
Or will it be the day that, only I, can conquer and define?
Will today be the day I can show I am scared?
Or will it be the day I smile, so my family is spared?
Spared from the anger, the anguish, of what this MonSter will cause.
As it tears away my life, until there's no memory of what was.
Will today be the day this MonSter takes it all?
Or will it be the day God picks me up every time I fall?
Will today be the day I can't share in the laughter?
Or will it be the day, that the laughter, is all that matters?
Will today be the day I plead and beg,
For times like these when I have use of my legs?
Will today be the day I can no longer hold my son?
Or will it be the day a cure has been found, my battle won?
Will today be the day all my fears come true?
The day I've most dreaded since I first got the news?
Will today be the day it takes my son's mother?
Leaving him to grow up, alone and raised by another?
Will today be the day my son graduates school,
And I am not there because this MonSter's so cruel.
Will today be the day my son looks for me in the stands?
Waiting to hear his mama's cheers, for the touchdown was caught by his hands.
Will today be the day that I finally give in?
No, when that day comes, this MonSter will win.
I will yell and scream and throw a fit,
Just to watch my boy blitz from the hits.
I will gamble and deal and plead far and wide,
Just to watch my boy marry his bride.
I will kick and fight and become dangerously wild,
Just for the chance to hold my grandchild.
MonSter, you can bring me down, cripple me, have me on the brink of defeat.
But one thing is certain, I won't be beat.
And when my time comes, I'll know it's true,
My baby boy will grow up knowing "Your Mama fought that MonSter to always be with you."
But, today is not going to be that day...
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