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Time Matters

by Jane Drebus
(Evansville, Indiana)

I don't want to bike
in the mountains
I don't care
to tour New York City

I just want to be Me.

The Me I used to be

The one I know and cherish
Just turn back the clock
Just far enough to see Me

The one without MS.

Jane Drebus
Copyright 2009

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Dec 05, 2014
True, My Mom.
by: Aretha Libby

This made me weep.

Feb 05, 2010

I know what you are both saying is true. I just can't seem to wrap my warped brain around the uncertainty of this disease. I miss me. My daughter and family miss me. I just can't cope.

Jul 17, 2009
The Here and Now
by: Sandra Chase

Jane it isn't a matter of right or wrong. It is what makes you happy. I have wonderful memories of my younger years and I, like everyone else, revisit my past with my mind. But it is like a vacation. Eventually you need to come home to the present.

I am an only child so I am use to finding ways to entertain myself. I enjoy my life now, even with MS. I say this because MS has forced me to use my mind to find other ways to do things. I consider MS an adventure. I feel really wonderful when my brain comes up with new ideas that actually work for me.

I'm not happy that I have MS, but I know I am the one who decides if I am going to be happy or not. I am in control of my feelings, not MS.

Jul 17, 2009
Maybe So
by: Jane Drebus

You may be right, Sandra. I guess ideally we would like every stage and wish for none other. I've had more years with MS than I have not---I was 24 when I was diagnosed and I'm 60 now. It's freeing for me to think about turning back the clock somehow. My MS hasn't been so terrible, but it's not something I would wish on anyone else or something I feel I have significantly profited from.

I'm not so sure why you think a flight of fancy is so bad. I live with MS in my real world every moment of every day. I'm well grounded, however, and if I occasionally want to pretend I can change things, does it really matter?

Jul 08, 2009
The Here and Now
by: Sandra Chase

I don't want to be like I use to be. I want to be what I am right now. As we get older our bodies get older. What I was able to do in my 20's and 30's is not what I can now do in my 60's. With or without MS, I, like the world , am changing. I can remember what I was able to do in the past but I now live in the present.

I want to spend the rest of my life finding new and different ways to learn and do new things. I now can take my time to do things I enjoy. With or without MS I'm still me. And I can honestly say I like me now because I am a little wiser about life. I want to spend each day thinking about all the things I can do. It is truly a waste of time complaining about what I can't do. Complaining doesn't fix things. Doing fixes things.

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