My Dad Laughs at Fear
26 years he has been going on. Everyday is a fight, he's afraid to end up alone. We love him so much and tell him whenever we can but we don't live with him. Must be hard for a dad.
I've known he was sick since I was very little but I didn't know he'd one day be my hero. He taught me to love and appreciate my days. Laugh, cry, hate. Never leave emotions at bay. He's never lied to me or sugar coated the truth. He's been honest with me and showed me the proof.
Since I can remember he's been telling me he won't be around by the time I get married. He told me once he wouldn't be at my prom. He wasn't. I danced with my uncle that day. It was hard for him I'm sure to hear that it went that way.
It won't be a wedding if he can't walk me down the isle. Or roll, I don't care. I just want him there to see my smile. To have a father daughter dance. To enjoy the precious little moments.
One thing I give him, my daddy, my friend, I know he won't give up even at the end. He get's sad sometimes and it's scary for me. I see dimness in his eyes where sparks used to be. Mom leaving definitely took its toll. I just wish he knew he's always been my hero.
He taught me to bike, mow the lawn, play football and swim. Even when he was tired he never gave in. He taught me to pursue everything I wanted. He showed me to stand taller when taunted. If he falls he rises with just as much pride, I'll always try to catch him..., to stay by his side.
It kills me inside that he laughs though he fears that one day the darkness will get too near. He laughs when he's sad even when he's afraid. He makes jokes about falling and pushes us away.
He's a man you know, big, strong and tough. Too bad he couldn't have had better luck. Still he teaches me just by getting up every day that perseverance is worthwhile if it means you can stay.
Enjoy the things that you have because you don't know how long, or when it might all simply be gone. I love my dad more than smiling or tears could show. I love my dad and I never want to have to let go. I love my dad because he is my hero.
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Cir & Akrista
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