Children of Parents with MS - Growing Up with an MS Parent

Have you ever thought about the children of parents with MS? Do you have little ones?

As a parent living with MS, you might worry about how your condition affects your children:

• Are they missing out on things?
• Are they shouldering too much responsibility?
• Do they truly understand what’s happening?

Parenting is unpredictable enough without adding multiple sclerosis into the mix. Some days, you feel like you’re juggling everything with ease. And then there are other days when MS reminds you who's really in charge.

children of Parents with MS Learn Valuable tools

The truth is, kids are incredibly resilient, and growing up with an MS parent will shape them in unique ways. Your child will most likely learn patience, empathy, and adaptability—sometimes far earlier than their peers. While MS may change some aspects of their childhood, it doesn’t diminish the love, support, or deep connection you have with your children. And in many ways, it will actually strengthen your bond with them.

The Reality of Growing Up with an MS Parent

Children in families affected by MS often experience a mix of emotions. Sometimes they feel like things are completely normal. Other times, frustration bubbles up when plans have to change at the very last minute or when their parent needs extra rest instead of playtime.

This doesn’t mean that their childhood is “less than” or filled with constant disappointment. Instead, it just means a different kind of normal—one that teaches invaluable life lessons. As the well parent, I felt frustration as well, especially in the beginning. I had to learn how to deal with these emotions right alongside our children. 

1. Learning Empathy and Compassion Early

Children of parents with MS typically develop a strong sense of empathy. From an early age, they recognize the importance of being patient. They also learn to understand that not every day is going to look the same. They see firsthand what it means to support someone through both good and bad days. This is a skill that many adults struggle with.

For many kids, this translates into a kindness toward others that lasts a lifetime. You may notice that they become more thoughtful, more considerate, and even more willing to help those they see in need.

2. Adjusting to Unpredictability

If there’s one thing MS loves, it’s keeping everyone on their toes. This means that children of parents with MS quickly learn how to roll with the punches. When plans change due to symptoms flaring up, they adjust. They grow up knowing that some days are full of energy and activity, while others may require slowing down.

Instead of seeing this as a hardship, your children may become masters of flexibility. They will learn how to adjust their expectations and embrace creativity when things don’t go as planned.

Balancing Childhood and Caregiving Responsibilities

Another challenge parents with MS may face is not wanting to burden their children with too many responsibilities. You may have moments when you feel guilty that your child has to help with household chores. You may even feel guilty when your child understands medical terminology that most kids their age don’t.

But here’s the thing—while support from children should never feel like an obligation, having kids involved in small ways can actually strengthen their confidence and independence. These will be valuable skills to have when they are older.

1. Letting Kids Help Without Overloading Them

Children naturally want to help their parents when they see them struggling. The key is allowing them to contribute without turning them into full-time caregivers. Encourage your children to help in simple ways:

• Bringing you water or medication when needed.
• Tidying up their toys or helping with small household tasks.
• Understanding when you need rest without feeling like they need to “fix” things.

This keeps them involved in a way that makes them feel helpful rather than responsible for your well-being.

2. Giving Kids Space to Be Kids

One of the most important things to remember is that your child is just that—a child. While they may take on extra responsibilities at times, they still need space to enjoy childhood. Let them focus on their own interests and have independence.

Encourage activities where they can just be kids—sports, hobbies, friendships—without worrying about your health. Finding this balance will ensure that MS doesn’t overshadow their sense of identity.

Helping Children Understand MS

Talking to children about MS can sometimes be a little tricky. Some parents worry about saying too much and overwhelming their child. Others may hesitate to talk about it at all in an effort to protect them. But kids are perceptive, and they’ll notice when things change. It’s best to explain MS in a way that will help them to process it.

1. Keep Explanations Simple

For younger kids, use child-friendly descriptions rather than complex medical terms. You might say something like:

"Sometimes my body gets extra tired because my nerves aren’t sending messages the right way. But I’m still me, and I love you just the same."

Older children might need more details, but even then, avoid framing MS as something scary. Instead, focus on how you manage it and assure them that while some days are tough, you’re still their parent who loves them no matter what.

2. Encourage Open Conversations

Let kids know it’s okay for them to ask questions. They might wonder things like:

• “Will MS go away?”
• “Can I catch it?”
• “Does this mean we won’t do fun things anymore?”

Reassure them with truthful yet comforting responses—MS may not go away, but treatments can help to manage the symptoms. It’s not contagious, so they can't catch it from you. Let them know that family fun will still happens; it just might look a little different sometimes.

Navigating the Emotional Side of MS for Kids

Growing up in a household with multiple sclerosis comes with emotional ups and downs. Some children of parents with MS may worry about their parent’s health. Others feel frustrated when plans change, and some may even feel guilty for wanting normalcy.

1. Validate Their Feelings

Let your child know that their emotions—whatever they may be—are valid. If they express sadness, frustration, or confusion, acknowledge those feelings. Try saying things like:

• “I know it’s frustrating for you when I have to cancel our plans. I feel the same way sometimes.”
• “It’s okay to be upset. MS isn’t easy for anyone, but I’m here to talk about it with you.”
• “I understand that you wish things were different. I do too. I'm here and we’ll figure it out together.”

When children feel heard, it helps them process their emotions rather than internalizing them. Encouraging them to work through their feelings is another valuable skill that will benefit them as they get older.

2. Find Alternative Ways to Stay Connected

If MS limits certain activities, get creative. If a trip to the park isn’t possible, have an indoor movie marathon instead. If physical games aren’t an option, find ways to connect through art, storytelling, or board games. Kids don’t need elaborate outings—they need your presence. When they have you, that will make all the difference.

children of Parents with MS Should Grow Together, Not Apart

Having MS might change some aspects of parenting, but it doesn’t change the foundation of love, trust, and connection you have with your little ones. Your children will grow up knowing that even if some days are harder than others, they have a parent who loves them fiercely. One who listens to their feelings and finds ways to create joy in the little moments.

And the most important thing to remember? You are not failing them. MS may be tough, but love is tougher.

If you have more questions about children of parents with MS, check out this article. (Link will open in a new window).

Privacy Policy ~ Advertising Policy ~ Disclaimer ~ Contact Us ~ About Us

Could You Answer 
A Few Quick Questions 
For Us?