Balancing Responsibilities and Childhood:
Growing Up with an MS Parent

Balancing Responsibilities and Childhood

Balancing responsibilities and childhood in a family where a parent has MS may be a little challenging. Especially when there are teenagers. Their lives are already a whirlwind of school, friendships, sports, social media drama, and trying to figure out who they are. Now throw in a parent with multiple sclerosis, and suddenly, they’re navigating an extra layer of responsibility that most of their peers don’t fully understand.

It’s not just about getting homework done and remembering practice schedules—that's a given. It’s also about balancing caregiving, family expectations, and personal aspirations, all while trying to maintain some semblance of a normal teenage experience.

Here’s the thing—having a parent with MS can shape your child’s outlook on life in meaningful ways. They may grow up more empathetic, more responsible, and more in tune with the needs of others. But you have to remember they’re still kids. And finding the right balance between stepping up for family and living their own lives is crucial for your teen's mental and emotional well-being.

Shouldering Responsibilities While Still Being a Kid

Teenagers often take on roles that, frankly, weren’t originally meant for them. Your teen may need to help out around the house and keep their younger siblings entertained when MS symptoms flare up.  They may also need to step in to assist their parent with daily tasks. Older kids sometimes feel like they need to do more—even when no one asks them to.

1. The Unspoken Pressure to Help

Even in the most supportive families, teenagers may feel an unspoken pressure to step up. They see their parent struggling and they recognize how MS affects their parent's daily life. Without anyone saying it outright, they start taking on more responsibility—sometimes at the cost of their own experiences.

• Skipping a hangout with friends because mom needs help with dinner.
• Missing an after-school event because dad had a rough fatigue day and needs assistance.
• They may feel guilty when they do prioritize their own needs because MS doesn’t take breaks.

But here’s the truth: They are allowed to be kids. They are allowed to enjoy their teenage years without constantly feeling responsible for their parent’s well-being. And as a parent with MS, it’s important to reassure them of that.

2. The Importance of Setting Boundaries

If your teenager begins taking on too much, it’s easy for them to start feeling overwhelmed. They may not voice it right away. After all, teenagers are notorious for keeping their emotions bottled up. If you see that responsibilities begin eating away at their own happiness, it’s time for a reset.

Encourage balance by reminding them:

• Helping is appreciated, but not expected every single time.
• MS is unpredictable, but life should still be fun for them.
• They don’t have to put their personal aspirations on hold just because you have MS.

This reassurance goes a long way in helping teenagers understand that while their support matters, their childhood does too. Let them know that they have a right to experience being a child. You will always have MS, but they won't always be a child.

School, Social Life, and MS at Home:
The Ultimate Juggle

It’s tough balancing everything—school, extracurricular activities, friendships, family expectations, and then, on top of that, the reality of living in a household where MS also plays a role.

1. School Stress and Family Responsibilities

Academics already put pressure on teenagers. Add in a parent with MS, and suddenly their attention is divided. Some might worry about their grades slipping because they’re helping out at home. Others might feel guilty for focusing too much on their studies when their parent is struggling.

But here’s the thing—education is important. When a teenager starts neglecting their studies due to feeling obligated to handle tasks at home, it's important to help them find a balance.

• Encourage structured routines where homework comes first before helping with household tasks.
• Make space for their school commitments by letting them know it’s okay to focus on their own responsibilities.
• Remind them that MS isn’t their job to fix—they are allowed to succeed and prioritize their own future.

2. Friendships: The Need for Social Time

Teenagers with an MS parent may sometimes withdraw from their social circles, either because they feel guilty leaving their parent or because their friends don’t fully understand what’s happening at home.

It’s important to remind them that:

• Friendships are necessary, not optional.
• They deserve social time without worrying about home life.
• They don’t need to explain everything to their peers, but they can if they want and feel they will be supported.

Having MS doesn’t mean that life stops—it means adjustments happen. But those adjustments shouldn’t remove a teenager’s ability to have fun and connect with others.

Finding Joy in Small Moments

If MS forces your plans to change, finding alternative ways to create joy is important. Just because a trip to the amusement park isn’t possible, doesn’t mean family fun disappears.

Teenagers might get frustrated with last-minute changes, but introducing small traditions helps make home life feel fulfilling, even during flare-ups.

Ideas for connection despite MS:

• Game nights—a perfect way to unwind together.
• Movie marathons—pick favorites and make it a cozy and special event.
• Deep talks—sometimes, just sharing conversations about life helps teens process everything that's going on with them.

At the end of the day, it’s about maintaining a sense of normalcy even when MS tries to disrupt it.

MS and Parenthood—Creating Balance Together

Teenagers growing up in a household with MS experience a different kind of childhood, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less meaningful. In fact, they often develop incredible strength, empathy, and adaptability—traits that serve them well in life.

The key is ensuring they find their own balance between responsibilities and personal freedom. They should never feel guilty for pursuing their own interests or stepping away when they need space.

As a parent with MS, the best thing you can do is let them know that their happiness matters just as much as their support. They’re allowed to grow, dream, and focus on themselves—because at the end of the day, they are still just kids trying to figure life out.

Balancing responsibilities and childhood—it's up to you to help your teens work through this challenge. And MS? Well, it doesn’t define your family—it’s simply something you navigate together. 

Did you enjoy Balancing Responsibilities and Childhood? For further info check out this article about Young People and MS. (Link will open in a new window).

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