by April McKinley
How do you know when MS is getting the best of you & you truly need help...such as mental counseling and/or physical therapy? How do you know it's not just self pity & laziness?
I'm just so physically & mentally exhausted these days & so confused. I don't want to quit my job but each day gets harder & harder to drag myself out of bed. But I'm afraid if I quit working I'll give up on life & just lay around waiting for the sweet relief of death.
On my days off I just want to be alone & I find myself crying a lot but I don't want my family to worry so I keep it hid.
Am I going crazy, am I just depressed like everyone gets from time to time or do I need professional help?
I try to pretend having MS doesn't bother me because I don't want people feeling sorry for me but then I find that I'm feeling sorry for myself & that makes me angry with myself! It makes me feel guilty because things could be so much worse. I feel stupid, lost, lonely & ashamed.
When do I know to ask for professional help & how do I make time for it with my job? We need my paycheck to make ends meet so I really can't just quit but I don't know how much more I can take. :(