(Woodland Hills, CA)
... the Process of Coping with a Recent MS Diagnosis
Well, there are myriad stories here about not giving up, and not letting the disease get the better of you. I am not there yet, because I have not accepted this emotionally. I want to be brutally honest. I am still angry. I am still in despair.
I was just diagnosed in August, after two years of futzing around doing everything BUT a spinal tap. All of my nerve conductions kept coming back normal, and the doctors began to think it was all psychosomatic. A brain MRI was returned as normal, but after another doctor reviewed it, he pointed out shadows to me. I just feel like my symptoms have got worse in the past two years, and that there are so many things that I can't do with my kids any more.
Self pitying? Sure. But the overwhelming emotion right now is anger, and I would be lying to all of you wonderful people to say it was otherwise. I haven't revealed any of this to my clients, professional colleagues, or other than my close friends and immediate family.
I hope this will change over time, and hope that in the next entry there is better news. But this is a reality that I am sure many, if not all of you, have faced. It's where I am now, but hopefully, not where I will stay.
Thanks for the opportunity to share this.