Determined

by Jessica Jones
(Atlanta, GA)

I wake up, determined to realize the potential of today.

To see my children off to school with a kiss. To make a hot breakfast for my little daughter. To teach her how to count, recognize shapes and colors.

To dust the furniture and fold the laundry. To flip the mattresses and open the blinds… letting the sun shine through and kiss my skin.

To spend some time with my husband, catching up on his day without being interrupted. To make him lunch, show him how much I appreciate him taking care of all of us.

To call my boss and say, "Why yes…, I would love to return to work full time. What day were you thinking of?"

But, I feel it coming on. I know it has the potential to ruin all of my perfectly laid out plans.

I wish there was some magic pill that I could take or some magical exercise that I could do that would fix it. But, no. Nothing works for me.

Arms heavy, mind drifting, thoughts scattered, eyes drooping…, I’m too late.

I woke up, my mind determined to realize the potential of today. It seems like MS and Fatigue were more determined than I.

So, I give in…, but just for today. I sleep and dream of the potential for tomorrow.